The Lost Baby

August 19, 2009

I am back again…. After almost 1 year.  Even though I’m a little glad to be hear in my page, I am really very sad. There is a very sad news to share with you all. I lost my baby, or my Hamdu mon as I planned to call him. The reason? The Umpilical cord got knotted around his neck! I wonder what a reason this is! The cord that feeds him and keeps him alive, killed him??!! What all things God can do!

At first I was reaaly shocked and sad ….and… I used to ask myself why did this happen to me? But I think even when  God plans terrible things for us, He also gives us the strength to get across those bad times. Or atleast, that was the case for me. I sometimes feel it was good that God took back my son He gave me.  I’m sure God will protect and take of him more than me. He will have Angels to play with, fruits and food to eat that no one in this world have heard of,  rivers of honey and milk to bath, golden glasses and plates ( and baby bottles?!!) in which he will eat… and most of all, he will be in Heaven, and he will be waiting for me there.

But still, tears drop down my cheeks… when I type these thoughts. The sadness of not being able to see my first little baby. The sadness of not being able to hold him in my arms, the sadness of not being able to kiss him… and above all, the sadness of not being able to breast feed him. I delivered him on May 14th. He will be in his fourht month now, making sounds, laughing, crying and trying to turn around on his belly. 🙂

I request to everyone who reads this post, to pray for me, that I reach near my Hamdu mon, in Heaven, soon. And don’t forget to include his father too in your prayer.

May God bless us all, with special blessings to all the mothers who have lost their children…

Loneliness

September 23, 2008

Where have all the people gone?

I open my eyes and find myself surrounded

With only the squirrels and doves in the garden.

I open my mouth for a refreshing yawn,

But it ends in a cry of despair.

I search for my shadow 

But the sun has locked it up.

In  my dream, my room was filled,

Filled with friends, family and relatives.

But I’m alone, so alone now.

I wish I could sleep again…

 

My grandmother-in-law passed away this morning. May Allah rest her soul in peace, forgive her her mistakes and gather us all in His paradise.